Apologies

I understand that the damage is already done and no amount of apologies can mitigate the damage. I assumed too much for other people. Please kindly remove the post, I have already posted it somewhere else. Once again, sincere apologies.

Blogging Galore

Haha...recently really on a blogging spree...most probably when emotions run high and there is no where else to vent one's frustrations, I turn to writing.

今天真得很开兴，美丽的风筝教我用电脑写华文字母。。。哈哈

但是我写得很慢。。。

Office hours blogging

Blogging during office hours posed a certain thrill. Must seized the right timing so that my boss nor colleagues are able to catch me in the process. Also, the excitement of being able to capture the feeling at the exact moment seems to be much gratifying also.

Its getting worse

Its getting worse by the day...I grow wearier and wearier if there is such a word. As an athelete by heart, I feel ashamed and sad that I am giving up. Seems like my perserverance is not there yet, the tenacity needed is in shortfall.

Internal struggle

Since young, I have always have problems making big decisions. Be it decisions like choosing a course to study in Uni, whether to sign the bond with MOE, whether to enter into a r/ship(when I was young). Without any pride whatsoever, there were a few ladies that I fancy in my younger days, never really dared to convince myself to really take the relationship into the next level. My internal struggles always gave me huge frustrations, I think my deep fear in making the wrong one and the regrets that may come along with it doesn't help either.

Of course, the current situation is similar...I am so tired of all this. Pondering whether to quit my job or not. From another perspective, I have poured so much effort into this project, it is really a waste to let it go to waste. On the other hand, I wonder how long I can last with the body and emotion anguish that comes along everyday. I must jot down today that today, I am so certain that I must quit. I must...but I think I will miss cmc...alot..alot..

time to make a decision

This week will be a time to make the final decision..I really don't want to go back to the period where everyday was booze, gambling and boredom(Exaggerate). Well, I guess subconciously, I do understand part of the real reason why I want to leave. For fear of future repercussions that even I cannot control, yet a part of me might just really yearn for this conclusion. Thus the struggle. My dear Kite, remember to publish it when you can spare the time...let me look at it from time to time. Its tiring period for me now, both emotionally and mentally. Please give me a sign..

long time no hear

Hi, have not been updating my blog for a long time. Guess there are some things which I have to find other places to write at. As usual, have been plain busy with work. It was even worse than what I had mention a few months ago, could hardly imagine it.

Anyway they employed one girl to take over one of my portfolio. Apparently she is quite experienced in HR. I was hoping that she can be capable enough to handle everything. Haiz..she tendered her resignation just after one month's notice. Sad..we pay her higher than my salary somemore...Anyway, she said she cannot get used to the stress level and the timeline for things here are always so tight. Apparently, she was also quite shocked by the fact that we work until ten and eleven pm every night...a bit of a culture shock for her, I guess. Her last day would be on the 1st Dec, I guess that would also be the day that I tender my resignation.

Actually I love my work and I love my colleagues. Its really just that the stress and demands are overpowering..unless a miracle happens, or I think even if my mind can take it, my body will collaspe.