Internal struggle

Since young, I have always have problems making big decisions. Be it decisions like choosing a course to study in Uni, whether to sign the bond with MOE, whether to enter into a r/ship(when I was young). Without any pride whatsoever, there were a few ladies that I fancy in my younger days, never really dared to convince myself to really take the relationship into the next level. My internal struggles always gave me huge frustrations, I think my deep fear in making the wrong one and the regrets that may come along with it doesn't help either.

Of course, the current situation is similar...I am so tired of all this. Pondering whether to quit my job or not. From another perspective, I have poured so much effort into this project, it is really a waste to let it go to waste. On the other hand, I wonder how long I can last with the body and emotion anguish that comes along everyday. I must jot down today that today, I am so certain that I must quit. I must...but I think I will miss cmc...alot..alot..